Disappointments, rewrites, and failures

Disappointments, rewrites, and failures.

This might sound like a really sad blog post but stick with me.

Disappointments

I tried my hand at writing a pirate fantasy short story for ANWA (American Night Writers Association). Winners get to be in the anthology, it’s free for members to enter, and proceeds from the book pay for registration for writers that can’t afford to attend conference later this year in September. Why not try? What did I have to lose?

I’d never written about pirates before and as much as I dream constantly about writing fantasy, I’ve been too scared to try. But I decided to just do it and face my fears. I had great feedback from friends, family, and critique partners.

And I failed. My story was not accepted. The disappointment was much worse than I would have imagined.

Was it wasted time? Or honing my writing skills?

Rewrites are the worst!

Book two may not be ready by august when I have to turn in several chapters for a consult. That’s extremely frustrating. I wanted to be a head of the game so that if she requested a full manuscript (like last time!) I would be ready. But I had a major plot hole burning through my almost finished novel. I had to brainstorm some fixes with my amazing writing friends. I wrote chapter one recently and it’s flowing so much better. And now I start over. It feels like I’m back at square one, rewriting the whole story.

Was it wasted time? Or honing my writing skills?

More failures.

I am a mom of five kids. I have church callings and family obligations. My husband started a side business that he loves and I fully support, but that just puts more things on my shoulders. The busyness would be fine if my writing was ahead of schedule. Which it’s not. So I may have an unorganized house because I’m trying to catch up on my writing every chance I get, my social media might look like a hot mess, and my kids might tell you that family dinners are lacking. But that’s okay.

I haven’t actually failed my family, my church, or other obligations.

When I feel overwhelmed I count what matters most. My kids, my husband, and the connections I make with others. People matter. So I’m going to try and be present. And if I don’t get my writing done, that’s okay. It will get done eventually. And it will be great. But today, I’m not going to cry. I’m going to hug my children and be grateful I tried to write something new, different, and outside my comfort zone even though it might feel like it set me back. Because outside of my comfort zone is where I grow the best.

And it will all work out when the time is right.

No forcing it. No quitting. Keep putting yourself out there to try new things and experience new disappointments. You are meant for something bigger and better and it’s usually found when things are hard. Disappointments don’t count as failures because you are trying. Don’t give up but sometimes take a moment to recharge. Then start again.

Good luck with your reading and writing.

-Tanya Strong